There hasn't been much happening on the adoption front. No news regarding our I171H yet. I keep thinking that I'll walk out to the mailbox any day and it will be there. So far that hasn't happened. It's fun to dream... There are still a few random things that need to be done, but our dossier is complete except for the I171H. So now I wait. And ponder. And try to WILL things to happen. FYI - while I'm pretty sure that I "willed" all three of my boys out of my womb prior to their due dates because I was tired of being pregnant, that apparently doesn't work so much with adoption! Shocking, isn't it? I just can't "will" my baby girl to be ready for me to come and get her.
It is hard to explain the emotions that accompany the adoption process. When I say they are all over the place, I truly mean that. One minute I am feeling peaceful and just trusting God to make a way and the next minute I am trying to do everything in my power to make things happen. It just doesn't make sense. I am so thankful for friends who are also on this journey or who already have their children at home who have been so supportive and understanding of the ups and downs of the process. Someday I WILL talk about something besides adoption. I think.
Heart palpitations are another new highlight for me. I have my eye on a baby on the waiting child list. I check it every day to make sure she is still there. For the past few weeks, every time I type in my password and wait for the pictures to appear, my heart seriously races until I see her sweet face peeking out at me. Then I sigh and carry on with my day. I know in my heart that if this little one is the one God has in mind for our family that she will be there when I have my I171H in hand. If she is gone before then, I will be sad and probably do a fair amount of weeping. But I will get over it knowing that God is in control and He is working things out in His perfect timing.
Mary
6 months ago
Loved your post Jay Jay :)
ReplyDeleteWe'll keep praying for you guys.
BTW, thanks for taking care of Crystal last night.
I found your blog through YWAM's blog. We're also adopting through YWAM and are in about the same place you are! Sent off our I-600A on 2/4 and now are just waiting, waiting, waiting. I look forward to following your story. :D
ReplyDeleteJenn - very cool. Any idea how long for your I171H? What state are you in?
ReplyDeleteI'm in Maryland. We're still at least several weeks off from getting our I171H becasue we haven't gotten fingerprinted yet.
ReplyDeleteI love what you wrote about heart palpitations over the waiting child list. I was actually feeling nauseous last night thinking about someone else adopting the little boy I've fallen in love with. But if God wants him to be in our family he will be... if only I could let it sink into my heart as easily as I can type the words out.
Is it the little two year old? If so, he is so incredibly sweet and adorable! I totally understand the nausea - was having that last night after the baby girls were removed from the list temporarily! Do you mind if I add your blog link to my page?
ReplyDeleteYes, it's the two year old. He's so sweet I can't see how anyone wouldn't want him! (Unless he's meant for us.) I don't mind if you add my blog link at all. :)
ReplyDelete