Keeping it in Perspective

I just had a conversation with someone who may be a friend or a relative regarding our adoption plans. I realize that this person means well, but I'm left with bad feelings. Somebody talk me down! Nevertheless, it puts me in a mood to write my thoughts and I am going to try to temper them somewhat. Here goes...

I realize that some don't understand why in the world we would be pursuing an adoption at all, much less an international one. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it hundreds more times in the days, weeks, and months to come. It is something that we believe God laid on our hearts and something we believe we were meant to do. We are not freaky deaky people who sit around and say, "God told me this, or God told me that" to justify our whims and fancies. I first looked into adoption probably three years ago when I sent off for information regarding adoption from China. At that time, I was working part time and our income did not meet the requirements for an adoption from that country. I also looked into the possibility of adopting through the foster care system here in the U.S., but the timing just wasn't right for us to pursue that. Fast forward three years. Adoption is still floating around somewhere in the back of my mind. I follow the journey of our friends who recently adopted from Ethiopia and something is stirred in me. I sit on it. One day, John brings up the possibility. Whoa - did not expect that. We start praying and researching and talking. Weird things happen - an article in the paper on Ethiopian adoption, another friend who we have not talked to in quite some time also pursuing adoption from Ethiopia, money from an unexpected source and enough to get the ball rolling for the initial fees...you get the idea. I try to talk myself into thinking that sending money is enough - we don't need to do more. Still, our hearts have been stirred. There is no going back for us. We are doing this! We begin to tell people - anyone and everyone who will listen. Several we talk to have also considered doing the same thing. Little confirmations here and there show us that we are doing the right thing. So many people have been so excited and supportive of our plans.

Along the way, however, there are the negative ones. These are the ones who can barely see beyond themselves, let alone consider the plight of an orphan on the other side of the globe. They make snide comments, whether intentional or unintentional, to my face and behind my back. I have a few friends who totally know where I'm coming from and how these comments affect me and they talk me down. I thank God for you ladies - you know who you are!! I struggle not to be upset or angry when these comments are made. I need to just realize that people who say such things are the ones who are missing out. When your life is all about you and having your needs met, it is impossible for you to understand how someone else can make sacrifices to try to meet the needs of someone they've never met.

Do I think this road is going to be easy? No, I do not. We don't know who it is that waits for us in Ethiopia. We don't know for sure what issues we might have to deal with, whether physical, psychological, or emotional. You know what? We didn't know that about our sons, either, and we love them just the same. Our boys have issues of their own, as we all do, and those issues do not change our love for them. Our girl will have issues that we have to deal with. She will be ours, though. OURS. Not some stranger. We are welcoming her as one of our own, not an outsider. We will do what we have to do in order to make sure that her needs - whatever they may be - are met. We hope that she will love us as much as we will love her. In the meantime, we are praying that God will keep her and protect her and make us the family that we need to be for her.