Noticing Race

I grew up in a small town that was not ethnically diverse.  In fact, my husband read this book and my hometown is mentioned. That is not at all something to be proud of.  We moved to a larger city while I was in high school and my circle of friends included those of other ethnic backgrounds.  In college, that circle expanded further and a variety of ethnicities were represented.  I found the differences - both physical, as well as cultural - to be intriguing.  I noticed race.  I still notice race.  I'm not sure it is possible to be "colorblind" and I'm not sure that is something we should be striving for anyway.  We were all created in God's image and we all belong to one race - the human race.  Acts 17:26 tells us, "From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands."  God used variety when he created people and I am thankful for that.  Can you imagine how boring it would be if we all looked the same?  Ultimately, race should not be what defines us anyway - it is simply one characteristic that contributes to the whole of who we are.  There is a Veggie Tales song that gets to the heart of the issue:


Have you ever seen a boy with funny clothes? 
A girl with braces on her teeth or freckles on her nose? 
Some kids call them oddballs, some kids call them weird 
Is it my imagination, or does Aunt Ruth have a beard? 

God makes lots of people in all colors, shapes, and sizes 
He loves them very much and what we need 
To realize is that calling people names 
Because they're different is wrong 
Instead we need to look on them in love and sing this song 

I can be your friend, I can be your friend 
Any day, in any weather 
We can be friends and play together 

Yeah, we're all pretty different, some are skinny, some are stout 
But the inside is the part that we're supposed to care about 
Aye, that's where we've got feelings that are very much the same 
So, instead of weirdo, I think friend's a better name 

I can be your friend, I can be your friend 
If your hair is red or yellow 
We can have lunch, I'll share my jello 

I can be your friend, I can be your friend It's okay if we are different 
We can still play 'cause I can be your friend


I love that song!


Moving right along...someone suggested to me a few months ago that we adopted because of "white guilt."  Come again?  What was that?  I have to say that the thought never once entered my mind when we decided to adopt.  Do I find it extremely sad and unfair the way members of other races have historically been treated in our country?  Absolutely.  But to think that we would choose to adopt someone of another race to assuage some personal feeling of guilt doesn't even make sense.  Our motivation was to be obedient to what God had asked us to do.  Period.  We set out to provide a home to a child who needed one and, in our case, that child happens to have beautiful brown skin and curly hair.  Though she doesn't share the same genes as we do, she is still every bit our daughter.  When I look at her, I simply see our daughter.


When Sena first came home, I was on heightened awareness to the reactions of others to us.  We had become, after all, a "conspicuous" family.  Occasionally, someone would give me what I perceived to be the stink eye.  Or they would sometimes look confused or simply curious.  But, most of the time, people smile and tell me how cute she is.  What I have noticed that is different than with the boys is the frequency of the comments.  I'm pretty sure my boys were cute at that age, but I don't remember people commenting on that all the time.  We were talking about this last week with another adoptive family and I think I understand better what is going on now.  A mama who has fair skin pushing a baby with darker skin in a stroller or a grocery cart attracts attention - good, bad, or neutral.  People notice.  When they notice me noticing them, they feel compelled to comment.  It is easy just to say, "she is cute" and move on about their business without it being too awkward.  Not that I don't think Sena is cute - she totally is.  Her cuteness for me, though, has more to do with her silly and sweet personality and her physical appearance is just the icing on the cake.  And, for the record, there is a reason why many white folks spend hours baking in the sun.  Brown skin is beautiful and to have it naturally is a gift!

 

Grammy bought this dress for me.  How do you like the hat that came with it?

Seriously.  Get this foolish thing off my head already!

Ugh...the things my mama makes me do!  At least I didn't have to wear it in public!