Perspective

There were many times when we were going through adoption process that I would lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, and wonder what in the world we had gotten ourselves into.  I couldn't quite wrap my brain around the enormity of the fact that we were inviting someone from half way around the world - whom we did not know - into our family.  Now that I know what we have gotten ourselves into, it is not quite so scary.  In fact, Sena and Addie are not scary at all!  But I didn't know that back then.

I have discovered that the "idea" of adoption and the reality of it are often two very different things.  My husband was the voice of reason during our adoption process who reminded me that when all was said and done, we would simply be raising another child.  I really had to work through some of my own feelings of selfishness before I knew for certain that I was up to the task.  Isaac was just starting kindergarten and I would finally have some time to myself after 10 years of mostly stay at home mothering.  If we adopted, we would be starting all over again with a little one.  Ultimately, we knew that God was indeed calling us to step out in faith and do something that many people considered crazy.  I had to rely on Him in a way that I never had before during the 18 months that we waited for Sena to come home.  Once she was here, we found our "new normal" as a family and all was well.  Her adjustment to us and our adjustment as a family went much more smoothly than I had expected.

I knew in my heart before Sena ever came home that she wasn't going to be the only little one in our family.  I just didn't know quite how soon that was going to change.  Just nine months after she arrived home, we were officially paper ready.  We requested the referral for the little one whose story was very similar to Sena's and who came from the very same village.  I tried to guard my heart because I remembered vividly how painful it was to wait for Sena.  That lasted until I held Addie in my arms for the first time and then I was done for.  Unless you have experienced it, it is hard to understand how difficult it is to meet your child and then have to leave that child behind for an unknown period of time while paperwork is processed and completed.  My heart aches each time I see one of my fellow adoptive mamas enduring that agonizing wait.  It is brutal.

My heart was so full when I held Addie in my arms again on a sunny Saturday afternoon in April.  We arrived home and prepared to settle in, but it wasn't quite as simple this time around.  Various factors made finding our new normal a bit of a challenge - John's Dad passing away, working to make sure Sena was ok with all the changes, feeling the pinch in our finances, and simply caring for two toddlers and three older kids.

While I could not have asked for a smoother transition, adding a fifth child has still presented some challenges.  We are stretched thin at times as we endeavor to meet the needs of each of our children.  They range in age from 13 down to 1, so there is quite a variety of needs represented.  And it seems that someone always needs something.  Our time as a couple is even more limited.  Sometimes I just long to have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband without big ears listening!  Just as I start to get my pity party in full swing, though, I am once again reminded of the reason we did this in the first place.  God has blessed us with more than we will ever need - even though it doesn't feel that way at times.  He opened our eyes to a need that we had it within our power to help meet.  In doing so, we have been blessed with two amazing daughters.  Along with the challenges of parenting two toddlers, there also comes a whole lot of JOY!  Just take a look at these little treasures:

My babies!

We received an update on the family that we sponsor at Korah this week.  Adoption Ministry 1:27 is working with the family on developing an income generating activity that will provide for more than just the most basic of needs.  We also learned that prior to our sponsorship, they had considered placing their two year old twins for adoption because the family was so destitute.  My heart just stopped when I read that.  Forty dollars a month made the difference for them to be able to keep their family intact.  That update couldn't have arrived at a better time to offer perspective to my spoiled American self.  I had been lamenting the fact that there are no extra funds in our budget for a vacation this year while this family struggles for their very survival.  And there are so many more just like them!  Just five months ago, we sat in their living room and I cried as I saw the conditions they were living in.  How easy it was to come back to our comfortable lifestyle, forget all about what we saw, and go back to business as usual.  That is just sad.  I don't want to do business as usual and so I am thankful for the reminder that I needed to get my focus back where it should have been in the first place. 

I love Romans 12 from The Message:

^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

³I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
^6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
^11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
^17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."
^20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.