Mothers and Daughters

My sister and her husband received a call this morning asking if they would be interested in receiving a foster placement of a newborn.  Just a couple of hours later, she was on her way to pick up a sweet baby girl.  After school was out, we headed over to meet the precious bundle, but I was unprepared for the emotions that meeting her would stir up in me.  She is an absolutely gorgeous little baby who was cared for this morning by the mama who gave birth to her.  Just a short while later, a new mama has entered her life.  My heart breaks for the mama who was not in a position to care for her, for this baby who is now living with a new family, and for my sister's family who may or may not have to say goodbye to her at some point.  This is not easy stuff.

As we drove away, I was struck by the fact that my own little girls lost their first mamas when they were tiny like this little one.  Sena had her first mama for just a few days before she passed away, but Addie had no time at all with hers.  It grieves my heart because I know what they missed out on in those early, formative days.  Certainly, they were cared for as best they could be under the circumstances, but they didn't get to experience the love of the ones who had carried them so close to their hearts for the long months of pregnancy.  I remember so well how anxious I was for the boys to be born - I just wanted to hold them in my arms.  When they finally made their appearances, I was elated.  I couldn't get enough of them.  Their sweet scents, the faces they made in their sleep, their contentment in my arms - everything about them was miraculous to me.  I wonder how different things would be for the boys had we not had those early days together.

As much as I don't want to think about it, the losses that my girls have experienced will impact them for the rest of their lives.  My job, as their mama, is to do everything I can to help minimize that impact.  Sometimes, that task can seem overwhelming, but I am thankful that God is with us and is guiding us as we endeavor to be the best parents we can be for these two amazing girls.

We have seen much progress in the time that our girls have been with us.  We saw some grieving behaviors very early on, but that has given way to trust.  Both girls have adjusted well and seem secure in their places in our family.  We are more careful in some areas than we might have been with the boys and we try to stay attuned to their particular needs in the various situations we encounter.  Some might think we are overprotective, but I think being cautious and vigilant indicates that we are trying to be responsible adoptive parents.  After all, we are in this for the long haul and the more secure our girls feel, the better the outcome will be for all of us.  We are laying the groundwork now for the rough days that we know are sure to come when the girls are older.  If this foundation isn't solid, the whole thing will come crashing down.  I'd rather do the hard work now than wait until it is too late and then try to pick up the pieces.

As I snuggled Addie and fed her a bottle before bed tonight, I told her how happy I am that I get to be her Mama.  I know she doesn't understand it just yet, but someday I hope she and Sena both know how honored I am to call them my daughters.