How He Loves Us

Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I posted this verse back in March when we discovered our referral was not going to be issued as we were expecting.  Two factors contributed to that: the MoWA closure would prevent us from getting a court date so CHI felt it best to hold the referral until MoWA resumed adoption paperwork and a possible medical issue had come up with baby S.  Without going into detail, the issue had the potential to have serious long term ramifications.  I, along with many others, have been lifting this up to God and asking Him to intervene.  And He did.  We received a very positive doctor's report last night and I feel as if a weight has just been lifted.  I am so thankful that God has shown, yet again, that He holds this little one in the palm of His hand.  He has a plan for her life and I can't wait to see it unfold!  I am so ready to be a mama to this girl.  I want to be the one who takes her to the doctor for a checkup.  I want to be the one who gets her up in the morning and dresses her and feeds her.  I want to be the one who holds her close and tells her it is going to be ok.  I want to snuggle her before tucking her in at night.  Sometimes it is so hard to understand why things can't just move.  I have tried to tell God that I am ready.  I think I've learned some hard lessons. I've endured heartache. I've been patient.  But, just like Jesus in Luke 22: 42 asked, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."  Ultimately, I have to lay down my desire and say to my Father, "not my will, but yours be done."  That is an enormously hard thing to say and actually mean.  He has shown himself faithful and trustworthy and if there is anyone in whom I can entrust the desires of my heart, it is surely the One who created me and knows me better than I know myself.  And loves me in spite of myself.

And, just because I can't have deep thoughts without a song wafting through my head, a little David Crowder:

He is jealous for me,
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about, the way

That He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves...