7,739 Miles Away: In ALL Things

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I am a little surprised that, two years later, the turning of the calendar to the month of January still stirs up some serious emotions in me. I was looking through pictures of our embassy trip with Sena recently and my heart began to race as I considered just how crazy, wonderful, exciting, frightening, and heartwrenching that trip was. After two years, I finally feel like I can share all that transpired in a three week period that, ultimately, culminated in Sena's safe arrival home.

Much like our adoption process itself, the embassy process also was a ROLLER COASTER! Our file was submitted to the embassy on December 21st, 2010. Up until that time, it was a given that you would travel for an embassy date exactly two weeks later. We made all the arrangements and were prepared to leave for Ethiopia on New Year's Day. We were so excited to finally be able to bring Sena home after staring at her picture for an entire year! Just two days before we were set to leave, we were devastated to find out that the embassy was requesting additional documentation and we would not be traveling after all. With each passing day, the separation from Sena became more and more unbearable. Finally, we received word that the documents that were needed for our case had been obtained and we were hopeful that we would receive a confirmed embassy appointment for January 18. But the confirmation did not come. We had already changed the dates on our plane tickets, so on Friday, January 14th we took a flying leap of faith and headed to Chicago to crash at John's parents before our early morning flight to D.C. to meet our Ethiopian Air flight. We had no idea exactly what awaited us, but one thing was for certain: SENA WOULD SOON BE IN OUR ARMS AGAIN!

As we sat at John's parents' kitchen table that Friday night, both of us were a bundle of nerves. This was far outside of our comfort zone. We were about to get on a plane with no idea of when we would be coming home. A phone call that I had received on the way to Chicago from a friend who was also having issues at the embassy and who had been on the phone that day with the state department here in the U.S. raised some serious fears about what we would be facing once we got to Ethiopia. At that point, we couldn't change our tickets since it was less than 24 hours before departure, so we proceeded with our plans. Around 4 am the following morning, we met up with our friends and fellow adoptive parents, the Streitmatters, at O'Hare. There is solidarity in numbers and knowing that we were in this together helped calm my nerves a little bit. When we got to D.C., we met up with another friend, Shelly, who was also in the same boat as we were.

Twelve and a half hours later, our plane finally landed in Addis Ababa and a beautiful, sunny day was waiting for us. When we arrived at the guest house, our friend Kameron and her daughter, Sarah, met us. Kameron had gone to ET a week earlier and had taken custody of Sarah. The rest of us would be reuniting with our children the following day.

I will never forget arriving at the Thomas Center that day. Apparently, there were two groups of people picking up their children that Monday morning and there was some confusion as to when people were arriving. When we got there, a little girl greeted me and tried to hand me flowers. I had to tell her that I wasn't her mommy, but that she would be coming soon though I'm sure she had absolutely no clue what I was saying. Fortunately, her mommy did show up a short while later. There were also several toddler aged boys playing out in the courtyard and we played with them while we waited for our girls to be brought out.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sena was there. Clearly, they had not been expecting us as she looked like she had been sleeping. I completely expected her to cry and she did not disappoint:

It didn't take long, though, before she popped her thumb into her mouth and calmed down. Then Daddy took a turn holding her. And then she pretty much just shut down emotionally. As I look at the pictures from our first days with her, my heart just hurts for all that she was going through. The most difficult picture of all is one that John took as I gave her a bath for the first time. In most of them, she is looking down at the water, but in the last one, she lifted her face and her expression just makes me want to cry. It is sort of a mixture of sad, mad, and helpess all in one. She had left all that was familiar and was now with strangers who were bathing her, no less. Now that I know her and what she is all about, I am quite certain that Sena was just straight up angry for those first few days. Rather than put up a big fuss and throw a fit (like she does now), she just refused to interact much at all. With each day that passed, though, we saw a little bit more of our sweet girl emerge. A half smile here, a bit of eye contact there...until eventually we got this:

I cannot tell you how this big smile made my heart sing!!

When we made the decision to travel to Ethiopia, it was with the understanding that we might not be able to have our embassy appointment on the 18th as we hoped and could possibly have to wait for the next one - which was two weeks later. I figured I could handle it for three weeks if that became necessary. Somehow we would work it out. After we picked Sena up from the transition home, we went to our agency's office to fill out the embassy paperwork. That is when things started to go south. The additional paperwork that we believed was already in their possession, was not, in fact, in their possession. I am pretty certain that is when all four of us mamas began to cry. What had we gotten ourselves into? Without that paperwork, nothing could move forward toward getting the visas for our girls. We were STUCK. It was a somber group that headed back to our guest house that afternoon. We notified our family and friends back home and we later learned that people all over the country were praying for our four families who were caught in a very difficult position.

The next day some good news came. The documents that we were waiting for just needed to be translated and then would be ready for the embassy. That was on a Tuesday. Unfortunately, the embassy was closed the following day for Epiphany. The earliest that we could even inquire about our case was Thursday, January 20. Bright and early that morning our group of 10 piled into a van and went to the embassy. Kameron and Shelly went together to speak with one of the employees there and it was then that we were notified that our cases were under investigation. No one - including our agency- had been informed of that and we only found out because we were there and, as American citizens, we were entitled to some sort of explanation regarding the hold-up. Since an investigation can take weeks to complete, we were in a bit of a predicament. All of us had responsibilities (like our children) at home that would make waiting in country for an unknown number of weeks almost impossible. We went back to our guest house and tried to figure out what to do.

On Friday, Marvin Streitmatter and my husband went back to the embassy and requested an appointment with the vice consul. It was set for the following Monday and everything hinged on the outcome of that appointment. It just so happened that Joy and Jeff from YWAM had also arrived in Ethiopia and they, along with Abebe, came to our guest house over the weekend and together we prayed that God would intervene in this situation.

On Monday morning, our group piled into taxis and made the trek, again, to the embassy. We were called to a side office where we met with the vice consul. He explained the concerns that the embassy had regarding our files and that they felt it was necessary to launch a field investigation. That would require a trip to the far western region of Ethiopia where our children were born. He told us that he had no idea when he would be able to start the investigation. I am pretty sure that is about the point where I felt a nervous breakdown was imminent. Just a week before, we had taken our children out of the orphanage - there was no way we could take them back again. And yet, we were facing the possibility that it could be weeks or even months before our children were cleared to come home. I think each of us was praying silently for God to move. And then He did.

There was an African Union meeting taking place in Addis that week. The vc told us that his wife was somehow involved with that, which meant that he would need to care for his children and, therefore, would not be able to head to Nekemte and Gimbi to investigate anytime soon. And then it was as if a light went on for him. We had just told him that we could not stay in Ethiopia indefinitely because we all have other children at home who need us. At that point, I believe he began to have compassion for us because he gave us his direct contact information and told us that he would see what he could do.

That day, John and I made the incredibly hard decision that he would stay with Sena and I would come home to be with our boys. We had been away from them for 10 days at that point and one of us needed to return. Originally, we planned that I would be the one to stay. But, I just couldn't do it. I was emotionally spent and I missed my boys more than I anticipated. John, on the other hand, is a rock and he handles things much better than I do. He also happens to LOVE Ethiopia, so getting to spend extra time there was quite appealing to him.

I spent a good portion of that day in tears. I cannot even begin to explain how brutal it was to leave them there. I had been reunited with Sena for only one short week and now we would be separated AGAIN and we didn't know for how long. Additionally, in our 15 years of marriage, John and I had never spent more than one night apart. The thought of being without him for an unknown amount of time was incredibly difficult. The one positive was that I would not be flying home alone. Marvin was also returning to take care of their kids at home. As we drove away from the guest house that day, I just kept telling him that I couldn't believe we were leaving them there. I probably told him that a hundred times. And then he had to calm me down when I freaked out on the plane thinking we were going down. As it turns out, we were just turning. Bless his heart.

Once we landed in D.C., I called John and he had some good news. Thank you, Jesus! The vice consul was willing to conduct phone interviews with the witnesses and to have the birth relatives come to the embassy instead of the vc traveling out west. Best of all? It could happen within the week! On Wednesday, we heard that the interviews were set for the following Monday. On Thursday, Kameron and Shelly's cases were cleared and they booked flights for Saturday.

But, in true roller coaster fashion, what goes up must come down. On Saturday, we were notified that Sena's birth father was not able to get a seat on the bus and, therefore, would not be able to appear on Monday. Then Sara found out that Sahara's birth relative had also missed the bus. Both interviews were rescheduled for Tuesday. Of course, we had already changed John and Sena's plane tickets (I lost count on how many times the tickets were changed in total, but I know we paid more than $1000.00 in change fees!)

In the meantime, a storm was brewing in Illinois. We live about three hours from O'Hare - the airport where John and Sena would be landing. John's mom emailed me that they were expecting 17-20 inches of snow in Chicago starting Tuesday around noon, with blizzard like conditions by Wednesday. Of course, their flight was scheduled to arrive Wednesday afternoon! Super. There was NO WAY that I was not going to be there when they stepped off that plane, so I took the boys out of school on Monday afternoon and we drove to John's parents to wait out the storm. As predicted, it arrived right on time and with a vengeance. I have never seen snow like that. It was crazy!

Early Tuesday morning, I called John in Ethiopia and was thrilled to find out that interview had gone well and that he had Sena's visa in his hand. FINALLY - our baby girl was coming HOME!!! They, along with Sara and Sahara, would be departing Ethiopia that night and would arrive in D.C. early Wednesday morning. I was glued to flight tracker that night. As expected, O'Hare was shut down and the flight to Chicago was cancelled. Marvin had already booked rooms at a hotel adjacent to the airport just in case. John and Sena ended up staying, but Sara and Sahara were able to get a flight to Indianapolis. Knowing John was in the States was such a relief and being able to talk to him for more than a few minutes was a blessing.

On Thursday, February 3, John and Sena boarded a plane in D.C. and arrived in Chicago late in the afternoon. When I caught a glimpse of them coming through the door, this mama took off running! Being able to hug those two and finally having all my people in one place was priceless. PRICELESS!!

Holding this little lady again was one of the best moments of my life

Even now, my heart is filled with JOY at what God has done in bringing Sena - and now Addie - into our family. As I sat at Ethan's basketball game this afternoon with my girl snuggled on my lap, I was reminded of just how far we have come since our early days together. She has flourished and that has been a wonderful thing to behold.

My heart, however, is saddened at what has happened to adoption in Ethiopia. As it turns out, our ordeal was the very beginning of what seems to be an effort to slow down/stop adoptions in Ethiopia altogether - we just didn't know it at the time. The concerns that the embassy had regarding our files were proven to be completely unfounded. The YWAM adoption program was and continues to be extremely ethical. It is a waiting child program whose mission has always been to find families for the children that are placed in their care - it is all about the kids. Additionally, YWAM has an amazing family preservation program in place with the goal of trying to keep children from becoming orphans in the first place. We are forever grateful for the role that this amazing ministry has played in our family.

I will end this novel with these: