Look What I Bought Today!

I realize it is rather premature, but I just couldn't help myself. I have no idea how old our sweet girl will be when we get her, so I bought an 18 month size just in case. Do you have any idea how exciting it was for me to buy a DRESS?? A dress with little cherries on it and red and white gingham stripes at the bottom!!
After giving birth to three sons, I knew we were finished having kids and I would just have to wait for grandchildren to enjoy all that goes along with having a girl. I will admit to some sadness knowing that I would never be the mama of a daughter, but I love my boys and can't imagine life without them. They are rambunctious, they make messes (A LOT), they are smelly at times, but they are such loving boys that it makes it all worth it. Truly, there is something so special about little boys. They can drive me crazy on many different levels, but at the end of the day when I check them before I go to bed, I want to just scoop them up and hold them like I did when they were babies (I really did get them up sometimes just so I could hold them.) I am getting vaclempt here. They are growing up so quickly. The first time I read the book, Love you Forever, Jack was a tiny baby. I cried my heart out. Here we are, ten years later, and I don't know where the time has gone. Before I know it, he will be grown and gone and that is so hard for me to comprehend.

I have been thinking about what our life will look like with a little one and, particularly, a little one who is a GIRL. Have I mentioned that I'm pretty thrilled that I will get to have a daughter after all? Funny how things work out. We'll start over again with diapers (I'm assuming she won't be potty trained, but will be TOTALLY ok if she is), childproofing, and trying to meet the many needs that small children tend to have. My plan this time around is to really savor what I perceived as mundane when the boys were smaller. I remember being so busy at times that I think I missed out on truly being able to live in the moment and appreciate the little things that are here one day and gone the next. Karen Kingsbury has written a book called Let Me Hold You Longer that focuses not just on the "firsts" that children go through, but also the "lasts." Here is an excerpt:

"The last time you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you'd marry
me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held you longer if
I'd know they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time you wore your
faded baseball cap.
I never said goodbye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?"

I realize that my goal of living more purposefully needs to start right here at home.