Not easy

Just a little reminder to myself:

Philippians 4:8-9  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I have been pondering lately how the things that are the most important in life are usually not easy.  My relationships with God and my husband and children and family members and friends all require effort on my part.  It is obvious when I am not making enough of an effort because those relationships become sort of stagnant and neither party finds any fulfillment in them.  If I am honest with myself, I realize that there has been a period of time in the last few months where I have been so absorbed with what is going on (or, more accurately, not going on) with me that I have found it hard to make the necessary effort in some of my relationships.  My mom has complained that I never come to see her.  My sister has called and I am not always good about returning her phone calls.  The list goes on.  I have been convicted of my selfishness and am really working to make some changes.  Again - not easy.  I have also been sorting through what God is asking me to do with my life.  I have some ideas, but I am still mulling those over.  I don't want to take on too much knowing we have a BIG change coming at some point in (hopefully) the nearish future.  Sometimes my head literally hurts from all the things running through it that I am trying to process simultaneously (I have a compulsion to multi-task - sometimes I am good at it, other times not so much).  I am trying to put into practice the things I have been learning.  More than anything, I want to live in a way that pleases God.  Again - not easy. I become so frustrated when I look at the many times that I fall short in spite of my best intentions.  Thankfully, God is infinitely patient.  Though He is well aware of my shortcomings, He loves me still. 

Isaiah 30:18  Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!