Bittersweet

We received our monthly progress report on baby S today.  I was happy to see that she is growing and doing very well.  At the bottom of the page, it reported that she is walking.  While this is a happy thing and great that she is on track developmentally, it made me a little sad because it is just one more thing that I have missed out on in her life.  I remember when my boys took their first steps and how excited they were and I was for them.  I loved being at home with them and experiencing all the milestones together.  So many things happen in the first year of life: first smiles, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, pulling up, first teeth...While part of me mourns the things that I have missed out on, the other part of me is so looking forward to all the firsts we will have when baby S finally joins our family.  We are getting SO close.  Before we know it, she will be in our arms and all this waiting will be a distant memory.  A whole new chapter of our lives will begin.  I am ready to close the book on the adoption process and get going on the real journey with the ups and downs that I know are inevitable.  I am so thankful that God has brought us this far and I am trusting Him to see us through.

Psalm 121:1  I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  5 The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.