Relief

Yesterday and today I woke up so relieved to know that Sena is officially our daughter.  I can't tell you the number of days I have woken up and as soon as the fog of sleep cleared, the old familiar angst set in as I realized there were things unsettled.  First, it was our home study.  That process was agonizing because we were hoping it would be completed in a timely manner, but in reality it took almost seven months from the time we started until we had approval from DCFS and could send it on to immigration.  I thought certainly the rest of the process would go smoothly thinking we had sort of "paid our dues."  Not so much.  Immigration did have pretty quick turnaroud and we were able to send our authenticated dossier in March.  I remember feeling two things when that was done.  I was so relieved to have that step completed, but after pulling it together for so many months, it seemed strange to have it completely out of my hands.  Paperwork I could manage and control.  The rest of the process - not so much.  We were matched with Sena once we received our I171H and expected to receive her referral soon after.  At that point, we had been gazing at her sweet face for only 2.5 months.  Because of issues in ET, we did not receive her official referral until June.  That was a REALLY long 3 months. When our case manager called and told us "the time has come," I was shocked.  We knew it would come eventually, but it could still be months away.  I remember asking her if she thought we could get her home before her birthday in August.  She said it just depended on paperwork.  I prayed and prayed for a miracle, but with each day that passed, it seemed less and less likely.  In early August the courts closed, so we settled in for a long wait on word of a court date.  Sena's birthday came and we celebrated her from afar.  It would have been so much better to have her here, but we celebrated nonetheless.  Then, out of nowhere, our case manager called in mid August with a court date.  WHAT?!!  That isn't possible.  Oh, but it was. We would most likely be travelling in October.  Our preparations kicked into high gear and the countdown began.  I, the one who is afraid of flying, was READY to hop on that plane and get to my girl.  As we pulled into the town where her orphanage is located, I was almost beside myself with the anticipation of it all.  I couldn't believe that within a few short minutes, I would finally have the opportunity to hold her in my arms.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.  I loved holding each of my boys for the very first time, but the exhaustion after childbirth and possibly the effects of the epidural (which must be one of the greatest inventions of all time) left me a little bleary-eyed.  With Sena, I was able to be fully in the moment. Holding her was the culmination of so many months of waiting and it was incredibly beautiful.  My heart was so full and even though I had only just met her, I KNEW her.  So now we wait a little longer.  We are praying that she can be home for Christmas because that is our desire.  If God has something else in mind, we trust Him.  He has been so faithful to us throughout this journey and we know that His plan is best.  I am so thankful for what He has already done and look forward to what lies ahead.