trust

Friends have told me that the second time around with the adoption process is easier in some ways and that seems to be true.  I knew going into it that things can change at any time and that I really have almost no control over any of it.  The first time around, I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Sure, I had heard that "adoption is not for the faint of heart," but I had no idea how true that statement really is!  There were many times I felt that I couldn't deal with one more disappointment and yet somehow we managed to handle each one that came our way.  I remember telling our case manager that I thought the hard part was over after our home study was finally approved.  She sort of laughed and informed me the hard part had only just begun.  I didn't really believe her.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

I found myself  having to lay down my plans and my desires and simply trust that God had a plan.  When our home study process dragged on and on, I had to trust.  When we had to wait much longer than anticipated for our referral, I had to trust.  When rainy season came and we still didn't have a court date, I had to trust.  When our court date finally came and we didn't pass, I had to trust.  When we encountered problems at the embassy, I had to trust.  Trusting, I learned, is not a one time thing.  It is a repeated surrender of my plans and my hopes and my fears to the One who is in charge of this gig.  If you are someone who kind of likes to be in control (not that I would know anything about that...), that can be especially challenging.  What I love about adopting this time is that I can look at the miracle who is presently asleep in the next room and be instantly reminded of God's faithfulness.  Yes, it was hard, but it was also an incredibly rewarding journey and I would not change it because it brought our daughter HOME!

The home study process has moved along quickly this time around.  Next week, we'll head to Indianapolis for our fingerprint appointment.  Our I171H - the final piece of the dossier puzzle - will hopefully arrive not too long after and we'll be paper ready.  At some point in the not too distant future (I think), an important decision will be made regarding the little one who will be joining our family.  We are praying that God will make His plan clear and that we will know who He has in mind for our family.  Once I see that face, I'm all in and that is when trust trust trust becomes paramount.

The following verses were a huge help to me while we waited for Sena:

Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Psalm 27:1  The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?