Time to drop the baby weight

You read that right. No, I have not birthed a baby in over 8 years. Yes, I lost all my pregnancy weight and then some after Isaac was born. Then we adopted -twice - and I am here to report that adoption weight piles on very easily, but is the most difficult to lose. Of course, there are plenty of my adoptive mama friends who remained perfectly slender during their processes and I am happy for them. Clearly, they are not emotional eaters. I, on the other hand, am the EPITOME of an emotional eater. I laugh at the foolish notion that I had way back in July of 2009 when I had the nerve to say that adopting would be so much easier because there wouldn't be morning sickness, weight gain, hormonal fluctuations, etc. I was straight up dumb. I had no idea what was ahead of me. While I prayed a LOT during the ups and downs of our processes, I also apparently ate a LOT, too. And it wasn't healthy stuff, either.

I have an additional strike against me because my work forces me to come into contact with stuff that I love - SUGAR. If I gave up eating sugar, I would be a waif. For real. It is my weak spot.

So, last week, my sister called and asked if I would be up for a trip to Arizona to visit my grandma in November. She is 94 and we haven't seen her for a few years. John gave me his blessing and then I panicked for three reasons. First, I will miss my babies. As much as I would like a little time to myself, I don't like being far away from them. Second, there is the plane thing. You would think that after flying half way around the world three times, I would be over it. Think again. It became apparent during a flight from Atlanta in March that my plane "medication" no longer works. Once I secure some new "medication," I'll probably be fine. Probably. The third reason for panic is the fact that I am presently plump. I have approximately 15 lbs. of adoption blub to drop before the first weekend in November and, let me tell you, I am MOTIVATED. My grandma is the one person in my world who will tell me to my face that I am fat. I just can't let that happen.

On Monday, I decided to get down to business. I told Tracy at the bakery that I was not allowed to put ANYTHING in my mouth there. Not even a taste! I was doing fine until it was time to make chocolate chip cookies. It took everything in me not to take a bite of the batter, but I didn't! The "plan" that has always worked to help me lose weight is to eat a small breakfast, small lunch, somewhat normal dinner, and one sweet treat at night with some healthy snacks thrown in for those times when I think I am surely about to die. The problem in recent years, however, is that the ol' metabolism isn't what it used to be and I can no longer lose three pounds just by skipping dinner. It takes a lot more effort and, for the past few years, I just have not had it in me. I have no more excuses, though. I've got to do something about this.

Four days in, I already feel better because I am making better choices, drinking a lot of water, and exercising.  My willpower must be getting stronger because I have both chocolate and candy corn in my house and I have not eaten either!!  If you know me, that is huge.

I finally worked up the nerve to get on the scale this morning and it was a little scarier than I thought. Originally, I thought ten pounds would be sufficient, but that is not the case. I remember once that a dietician that I worked with brought in a model of what five pounds of fat looks like. It was disgusting and HUGE! To think that I have let three times that creep on my thighs and rear in the last few years is shameful.  No wonder my pants are tight. Yuck. Now that I have put this out there for all to see, I'm really going to have to stick with it! I hate losing weight. It is not easy, but I know I will feel better and hopefully I will lose one of my chins in the process, too. I'll keep you posted.