Getting it right

I read a number of books and talked to several adoptive parents as we prepared to bring Sena home.  I quickly learned how important developing a secure attachment would be.  I read about ways to facilitate that - what to do, what not to do.  I have to say that prior to her arrival, the pressure was ON!  I wanted to make sure we got this right.  Now that we have been been together for a few months, I find myself trying to evaluate where we are.  I think it is safe to say that we have bonded to Sena and she to us.  Whether she has developed a secure attachment is still hard to say.  When she came home, she preferred John or I to hold her (we preferred that, too, for obvious reasons.)  Because I work outside the home, it was not possible for us to "cocoon" as is recommended by many adoption experts.  However, rather than leaving Sena with someone else, she came to work with me(and still does). We did, however, limit other outings and stayed close to home those first few weeks.  We settled into a routine that seemed to work well for everyone.  We parent Sena much like we parented our boys at that age.  If she has a need, we meet it.  If she is doing something she shouldn't, we tell her no and try to redirect her to something else.  Sometimes she goes for that, sometimes she doesn't and then proceeds to lay on the floor and cry her eyes out for a minute and then she is on to something else.  Those episodes are occurring less and less often. There are a couple of things we are doing differently with Sena, though.  The first is that she is sleeping in a crib in our bedroom.  I had great plans to move her to her bedroom last week, but I just can't do it yet.  I was all excited to reclaim my space where I would have the freedom to read before bed with light from the lamp, rather than from a book light under the covers, but I'm just not ready for her to go (even if she does make loud noises in the night sometimes.)  There is nothing better than her cute little head peeking over the side of the crib yelling at us at the crack of dawn!!   We also have not left Sena in the care of anyone else (unless you count the hour that John and I went out to lunch in March while she was sleeping and in the care of Grandma).  That may have to change soon because I would like to go on a date with my husband.
I do have some concerns and I can't decide if they are valid or not.  Sena is a friendly little girl.  When we go to the store, she smiles and waves at people.  Our boys did the same thing and that did not concern me at all, but then I wasn't really concerned that they were "shopping for a new caregiver."  I really don't think Sena is doing that, either, but I am much more on guard with her if that makes any sense.  For the record, we live in a small town where people are, for the most part, very friendly and we often see friends and acquaintances at the grocery store.  Sena is more willing to go to other people these days, too.  Perhaps it is because she feels comfortable in her environment.  Fortunately, she is an active toddler and she doesn't want anyone to hold her for very long.  When she is hurt or upset, she comes running for Mommy to make it all better.  I think that is a good sign.  In the meantime, I will continue to wonder if we are getting it right.  The signs are pointing in that direction, but it is too soon to tell for sure.