Letter to my daughter on the eve of her second birthday

Dear Sena,
It has been 19 months, 7 days since I first laid eyes on your face; 9 months, 15 days since I first held you in my arms; and 6 months, 5 days since you came home to our family.  It has been a journey like no other and I count it a privilege to be your mama.  Last year, I cried many tears because my heart longed to be with you on your very first birthday.  Birthdays are a big deal around here and we wanted to spend yours with you.  Instead, we celebrated you from afar.  We went out to eat and came home to a party here at home complete with cake, ice cream, and presents for you that you finally opened in February!   One bright spot was that we were able to send some birthday gifts with our friends who were traveling to Ethiopia last August:

Last year, your brothers fashioned a Sena balloon - complete with a party hat on top (not seen in this picture) - that attended the party in your stead.

The day was very bittersweet as we talked about you and dreamed about you coming home and yet we were so aware of your absence.  Before we knew it, ten weeks had passed and Daddy and I were on our way to you.  I cannot describe the feelings inside of me as we pulled up to the gate to your orphanage.  I thought my heart might leap out of my chest.  As we waited in a room for you, I just could not believe that this moment we had been waiting for was finally upon us.  As Joy brought you into the room, I was filled with such joy and a sense of complete peace.  As I took you into my arms for the first time, I was overwhelmed by how huge that moment was for both of us.  It was the beginning of an entirely new chapter in both of our lives.  God had taken a sad circumstance in your life and this mama's dream and melded them into something pretty spectacular.  I felt as if I already knew you.  You, on the other hand, had no idea who these strange people were who were oohing and aahing over  you.  You tolerated us for a while and then began to cry.  We soothed you and walked around with you and talked to you and you calmed down.  We spent the afternoon at the orphanage and I was thankful that I was able to see the interaction between you and your nannies.  I saw how they loved you and I saw how you loved them.  Your face lit up when they played with you.  I was hopeful that one day your face would light up for me, too.  As we drove away from the orphanage that day, it hurt to know that we were taking you from all that was familiar. We visited with you the next two days at the transition home in Addis.  You began to open up a little more each day.  On our final day with you, you fell asleep in my arms.  Just when you were beginning to trust me a little bit, I had to leave you.  I didn't know how I was ever going to say goodbye to you, but, as it turns out, I didn't have to.  I simply carried you up to your bed, kissed your sweet cheek, and laid you down.  And then I dissolved into a mess of tears as I walked down the stairs.  As we flew out of Ethiopia that night, it was so hard to deal with the fact that each mile we flew closer to home took us further away from you.  My heart was torn in two.

The following weeks dragged by as we waited for word on our case.  When we couldn't take it another day, we made the decision to come to you.  When we landed in Addis, I was filled with such anticipation knowing you were in the same city!  I couldn't wait to hold you again.  We spent eight days getting to know one another and then Mommy had to return home to take care of your brothers.  Leaving you and Daddy in Ethiopia was extremely difficult because I didn't know how long it would be until you could come home.  And leaving you - AGAIN! - was never in my plan.  God, in His mercy, worked a miracle and it was just 10 days later that you arrived in Chicago. When I caught sight of you and Daddy in the airport, my heart soared.  As I took you in my arms (this time for GOOD), I breathed the biggest sigh of relief EVER!  If you look at pictures from that day, you can see my feelings written all over my face.  I was so glad that you were finally here.

We came home and life went on.  We learned all about you and you learned all about us.  We settled into a routine and you just rolled right along with it.  You are funny and sweet with a fair amount of spunk thrown in for good measure. You have been a wonderful addition to our family and it is hard to imagine where we would be without you.  You have brought out some wonderful characteristics in your brothers that I'm not sure we would have seen otherwise.  Seeing you with your Daddy - you LOVE your Daddy - melts my heart on a pretty much daily basis.  I simply love being your Mommy, sweet girl.  I hope you always know how much you are loved!  Happy Birthday Sena!

♥ 
Mommy


In honor of your special day, here is your first two years in pictures.