Joy

I have been pondering the whole concept of joy lately and found it quite timely that the message at church this morning was on that exact topic.  It is the time of year when we sing "Joy to the World" and everything is supposed to be merry and bright.  I have found myself struggling with Christmas this year because I am keenly aware that part of us is missing and we had hoped she would be home for Christmas.  I have gone through the motions  - putting up the Christmas decorations, purchasing gifts, baking cookies with the boys - but my heart wasn't really in any of those things.  I was desperately hoping for a miracle, but it wasn't to be.  In my disappointment, I have found it much easier to give in to despair, rather than to let the joy of the Lord be my strength.

This process has been difficult and long and my emotions are spent.  I have asked God to intervene and bring our girl home and yet we are still in the same exact spot - waiting for word of some progress on our case.  At this stage of the process, we are all just craving some information that will let us know what is going on and when we can expect to bring her home.  People ask me daily if we have heard anything and the same answer is given over and over again.

One day last week when I was feeling especially low, I was driving home from work while trying to keep the tears in check.  As I drove past our local funeral home and saw that a funeral was in session, I stopped and had a good dose of reality.  I was tearful and upset because it is taking longer than I would like for us to bring our daughter home, while a family in that funeral home was grieving because their loved one would never come home again.  I was reminded for the 100th time this month that I have so much to be thankful for and my time would be much better spent enjoying what I DO have, rather than pining for what I don't.  My joy should not be dependent upon my circumstances, but it so often is.  When I stop and consider what this season is all about and focus on the fact that God sent his precious, only son to die for my sins, it takes the sting out of my disappointment that Sena won't be here.  He has done so much for me and has been so faithful to me and that is truly cause for joy - true joy - deep down in my heart.


Hebrews 12:1-3  1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.