Strength

I was just doing a little "research" here at home for the bakery - experimenting with a couple of muffin recipes and listening to my ipod.  One of the songs that came on was "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller .  Here are a couple of lines that really stood out to me:

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait...

Considering our present circumstances with the adoption, much of this rings true.  One thing that I have really been pondering is that there is much more to life than our adoption process.  One day I will look back and wonder why this little blip on the radar of our life was such a struggle for me.  Quite honestly, I wish today was that day!  I am weary of processing it all.  I want to be able to pack up my unsettled feelings and put them away, but I can't seem to do that when I know that part of us is missing.  I am truly leaning on God for strength like never before.  Without Him, I would have given up months ago.  Those who would suggest that families adopt internationally because they want to take part in the latest fad are completely delusional.  The process itself is HARD and then there is a whole lifetime commitment of raising a child that follows.  I know that I will need God's strength just as much or even more after baby S comes home. 

Psalm 31:24  Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

Exodus 15:2  The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.